2012: A Tacos Odyssey

Ah, free tacos.  Is there anything better?

Yesterday was free taco day, as any faithful reader of this blog already knows.  I hope that you were able to get your freebie.  I certainly collected my one four.  How was I able to multiply my free tacos, you ask?  Simple...

The free taco promotion ran from 2pm to 6pm yesterday.  My shift at work ended at 5pm.  I hit the road immediately, as I was plagued with worry about enormous taco-craving crowds.  With only an hour of promotion left, I recognized that a mob of people might actually prevent me from enjoying a free taco.  So I located the six Taco Bell locations that lie generally near my evening commute, and I devised a plan that if one Taco Bell was swarmed, I would simply pass it up and take my chances at the next.

As fortune would have it, the first Taco Bell I visited was almost empty.  I grabbed my taco to go and hit the road.  As I passed the second Taco Bell on my depth chart, I noticed that it had a long drive through line, but almost nobody in the dining area itself.  With my second free taco in hand, I discovered the third Taco Bell was just as populated as the second.

I now had a trio of tacos.  The fourth Taco Bell on the list was the first I skipped.  There was a ton of traffic leading up to and around it, but some of it was likely due to utility work blocking a lane as well as the usual afternoon swarm of people trying to get on the highway.  I turned off and evaluated my next options.  The fifth Taco Bell was also the most out of the way.  With three tacos in hand already, I decided it probably wasn't worth the time.  The sixth Taco Bell was closest to home, but also the busiest one I actually visited.  Nevertheless, I stuck it out and received my fourth and final free taco.

Remarkable restraint, no?  Out of six possible Taco Bells, I only went to four.  You might also think that four tacos would take an eternity to eat.  Not so, as I am fully capable of scarfing down a taco in thirty seconds:

"You are going to have the worst indigestion tomorrow."

"That happens every time anyone eats Taco Bell."